Age with grace

If there is any fault I could find with my eldest brother, who passed away a year ago, it was his overly solicitous love towards his siblings, nephews and nieces. He would stand up to offer his seat each time we ran into him, regardless of situation. I would always tell him, “Ko (older brother), don’t do it; you are an elder!) I am a bit of a Confucianist; we give way to elders, not the other way around! But despite repeated reminders, he would still do the same. I suppose habits are hard to change. He was well loved by all of us; we still miss him dearly.

I got reconnected with a long-lost friend, thanks to WhatsApp. He has no pretensions. I like his care-free nature. But as I began to see his exhibiting the same solicitous tendency, I felt disappointed. His stock took a deep dive in my prejudiced mind. 

I always believe at our age, we need to conduct ourselves with dignity. We are naturally concerned about our friends’ well-being. But we shouldn’t make our friend uncomfortable for our being too intruding!

When my nephews and nieces and, for that matter, younger colleagues, called us “you guys”, I would at the first opportune time advise them not to drop that habit, which I suppose is pretty “standard” amongst millennials.

Many a time, I see old couples arguing over trivia incessantly. Aren’t there no better things to talk to each other? My wife understands me perfectly. No waste time on issues that are irrelevant.

When you want to propose something in a gathering to discuss serious matters, make sure you have thought through it, lest you lose respect. You can offer opposing views, but there should be lessons or wisdom in your postulations. And if an opinion has already been rejected and explanation given, do not try to bring it up again. Friends will lose their patience with you in no time.

This bags another advice: Don’t stop learning and reading! Many friends have regressed intellectually; as they age, they don’t bother to read any more! If you don’t read, you don’t learn. Learning is a life-long task or exercise that keeps us mentally healthy. Devoid of it, you soon become infantile in your reasoning and worldviews. Wonder why many of us are accepting fake news and internet rubbish without questions? We simply have lost our ability to discern!

As we age, let’s try not to dress sloppily or appear disheveled too. I am sure your spouse and your children will feel good if you carry yourself well.

Stay healthy physically and MENTALLY!