Even
at 76, I’m still learning new acronyms. Last time it was TACO (Trump Always
Chickens Out). Today, it’s FAFO.
At the end of his September 30th spectacle in Virginia, Secretary of War Pete Hegseth bellowed “FAFO!” at 800 generals and admirals.
(For the uninitiated, FAFO means “f--- around and find out.”). Just imagine he used a Twitter slang to address the country’s top brass and thought it was a great line.
Who is this man who wants to transform the US military?
After graduating Princeton in 2003, Hegseth served about 14 years in the National Guard, reached the modest rank of major, and rotated through Guantánamo, Iraq, and Afghanistan. He later picked up a master’s at Harvard, proving that expensive degrees don’t always buy good judgment.
Then came Fox News, where Hegseth blossomed into a professional culture warrior. He railed against “wokeism,” wrote books with titles like The War on Warriors, and discovered that shaking his fist at imaginary enemies sells.
But Hegseth’s fame isn’t just about books and TV hits.
- Booze: Former colleagues
said he drank on the job. Think “happy hour” but starting before noon.
- Sexual misconduct:
A woman accused him of assault in 2017, alleging her drink was spiked and
consent ignored. He called it consensual; prosecutors called it
unprovable. He later settled, money in exchange for silence.
- Workplace antics:
At an veterans’ event, even The New Yorker couldn’t resist
reporting his strip-club stage ambitions.
- Family drama: His second wife reportedly had an “escape plan” in case of emergencies. Enough said.
To butter up Trump, Hegseth staged a military parade for Trump’s 79th birthday on June 14.
It
flopped. Troops smiled and waved. Trump fumed that they weren’t menacing
enough. “Tremendous success,” he boasted in public – while privately roasting
Hegseth for producing what looked more like a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.
So much for the strongman optics.
The September 30th summons of the generals brought to mind a Chinese idiom: 烽火戏诸侯 (Fēng-huǒ Xì Zhū-hóu) — “to fool the military lords by lighting false beacon fires.”
The story takes place in the Western Zhou Dynasty (c. 1046–771 BCE), under its last king, King Yōu (周幽王 Zhōu Yōu-wáng). The Zhou monarchs ruled a feudal system in which noble lords pledged military aid in exchange for land. To summon their armies swiftly against raiding tribes, the court devised a network of beacon towers — smoke by day, fire by night — flashing urgent calls for defence across the kingdom.
But King Yōu was besotted with his concubine Bāo Sì (褒姒), famed for her beauty and her melancholy. She never smiled. Desperate to please her, the king promised lavish rewards to anyone who could coax a laugh.
One schemer proposed a cruel joke: light the beacons. The military lords rushed to the capital in full armour, expecting war. Instead, they found no enemy, only their king and his concubine watching with delight as Bāo Sì finally smiled.
Humiliated, the lords went home fuming. Yet the king repeated the prank again and again. Soon, the lords ceased to believe the signals. And when a real invasion came, the beacons flared once more - but no one came. The capital was overrun, King Yōu was killed, and the Western Zhou collapsed, never to recover its former strength.
The
moral is stark: trust, once squandered, cannot be summoned back at will.
Leaders who toy with loyalty discover too late that no one believes them — even
when the enemy stands at the gates.
Wasn’t Hegseth trying to make Trump smile?
Imagine a career major lecturing four-star generals like naughty schoolboys. That’s what happened.
Hegseth denounced “woke culture,” scrapped diversity and inclusion, loosened rules on hazing, and declared that anyone who disagreed should resign.
He strutted about as if he were Billy Graham and Franklin D. Roosevelt rolled into one – only without the grace of the preacher or the genius of the president.
Apparently, medieval hazing is the new cutting edge of Hegseth’s concept of military excellence.
Then came Trump, rambling about “invasions from within,” turning American cities into “training grounds,” and promising loyalty to generals who bend the knee.
A man who dodged the draft over “bone spurs” now demands his generals and admirals prepare to invade Baltimore. (Someone’s satirical jab at Trump’s contradictions, recalling Trump’s avoidance of military service during Vietnam by citing dubious medical excuses, and his exaggeration of his tendency to use militaristic, authoritarian language against domestic opponents, even American cities. The humour comes from the irony: someone who once avoided serving in war now plays the tough commander, threatening military action – but not against foreign enemies, rather against his own citizens.)
In short, Trump’s address to the generals and admirals was less a statesman’s briefing than a pep talk laced with vengeance – part locker-room rally, part score-settling tirade. Instead of unity, he offered division; instead of strategy, he poured on grievance. It was equal parts intimidation, self-congratulation, and us-versus-them demagoguery — the language of a campaign stump, not of a commander-in-chief.”
Generals and Admirals with Poker Faces
Hegseth and Trump fancy themselves saviours of the “warrior spirit.” In reality, they’re clowns in borrowed uniforms, shouting acronyms like magic spells.
History says: keep fooling the lords, and one day the fires won’t be answered.
Until then, FAFO might apply best to Hegseth and Trump themselves.
And aren’t Trump, Hegseth, and Trump’s other sycophants – like Peter Navarro, Howard Lutnick, Stephen Miller, and several others – godsends helping China surpass the US faster than anyone would reckon?
And thank goodness – the US is blessed with yet another
shutdown, Trump’s second in office. Hope more will come!
End
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